The presidential portrait power list: Ranking the past 20 presidents’ C-SPAN portraits
In just a few weeks, Donald Trump will become president of the United States. He’ll get to live in the White House. He’ll someday have a presidential library. And he’ll have a presidential portrait, joining his 44 predecessors.
C-SPAN has released its portrait of Donald Trump and the future president looks a lot like Pepe the President. He’s given more crow’s feet than he should have, but also looks a lot skinnier than he is.
But where does Trump’s portraits rank among the pantheon of 20th and 21st century American presidents? Thanks to CSPAN, which let us publish their portraits for our own amusement, here’s a non-official power ranking, from worst to best:
20. BARACK OBAMA
No, this one doesn’t work. Not at all. President Obama is a skinny dude — a lot skinnier than the barrel chest that the painter has given him here would indicate. His head is not this round. I have to give the painter some credit, though — he nailed the mouth.
19. GEORGE W. BUSH
Did Bush paint this one himself?
18. DONALD TRUMP
“It could be worse” is a phrase that I’m sure we’ll get used to hearing over the next four years.
17. GERALD FORD
Why does it look like Gerald Ford had just fallen off a ladder and was trying to straighten his tie as this was being painted?
16. JIMMY CARTER
Peace in the Middle East would be more attainable than getting that nose right.
15. CALVIN COOLIDGE
The ultimate story about “silent Cal” is that he was at a party when a woman came up to him and told him she had a bet with a friend that she could get him to say more than three words to him. His response? “You lose.” That’s a badass story. Still, that’s a very large forehead he has going on in this portrait. And his neck looks a bit small when you look closely.
14. BILL CLINTON
“Hey, Jim, remember that time Bill Clinton had to admit he had an affair with an intern?”
“Remember how embarrassing it was for him? And how much shame he had for himself, his family and his nation?”
“Can we use that as inspiration, please?”
13. JOHN F. KENNEDY
Sad! Look at that! Where’s the chiseled jaw? The charismatic good looks? The hair is less “parted to the side” and more “Alfred E. Neuman.” Looks as if I’m looking at the 35th president while wearing beer goggles.
12. GEORGE H. BUSH
That’s not George Bush’s smile. Bush’s natural smile is incredibly forced-looking, even if it never was. It’s done like he knows that his mouth has to be open a certain amount with his dimples working only so hard. This looks more like Brian Williams than George Bush.
11. RICHARD NIXON
Sometimes, when looking at a painting, I can confuse it with the cartoon caricature of our presidents. And it would be unfair to give Nixon the overstated cheeks and jowls that cartoonists have tended to give him. But on the other hand, he was a pretty jowl-y dude. And we can’t let history wash that away.
10. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
I’m left with a sad sense of what could have been. We get a hint of the man who led the Rough Riders, but it’s only coming through slightly. It’s like seeing Harrison Ford in a suit and tie in “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.” I get it, he’s the man, but still. Give me something, even just a top hat or a dead animal behind him.
This article was sourced from http://24bdnewspaper.com